


I'm Not Crazy, You Are!

by Winchestersister1313



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angels, Cas is human kind of, Dean Talks To His Dead Sister, Grace - Freeform, M/M, Monsters, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22793452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchestersister1313/pseuds/Winchestersister1313
Summary: Dean Winchester has witnessed many horrors in his life, those of which have landed him in the psychiatric facility.Castiel has no clue how he got there and why everyone keeps calling him, James. He knows what he is an angel of the lord.Dean needs Cas' help, and Cas needs Deans' help, to prove they both aren't crazy.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Dean wasn't sure when it started, the fear of demons and monsters. It wasn't the boogie man in the closet. It was Vampires, werewolves, and shapeshifters. All the things that came straight out of a horror movie that will eat you or possibly possess you. 

If you asked Sam, he was sure it all started the night their mother died when Dean was four years old. Watching the flames of a freak accident engulf her. It was after that that Dean became withdrawn or maybe when his twin sister mugged, and her throat slit. Either way, Sam felt bad that Dean wasn't able to accept their sister's death. 

  
  


The older he got and the more their father ignored the warning signs. The worst Dean had gotten, it finally came down to the police finding Dean brandishing a machete yelling that he was hunting Vampires, and it wasn't safe for them. 

Now Dean finds himself locked up in the psych ward, trying to explain that it's all real! Everything from the movies was right! Keeping him locked up was going to lead them into killing people.

"Dean, we have gone over this; the monsters aren't real," Chuck said, pinching the bridge of his nose before repositioning his glasses. 

Chuck Shirley was the psychologist treating Dean for the past two years. He was worried that Dean might never be able to join society again. 

"Yeah, right, and my throat was slit," Cricket laughed, standing behind Chuck shaking her head. 

Dean's eyes flicked up to his sister. He stifled a laugh. Chuck tilted his head, rubbing a finger over his mustache. 

"Are you still seeing your sister?" Chuck asked while jolting something down in his notepad that he had perched on his crossed leg. 

Another one of Dean's "delusions" was seeing his dead sister, Jamie. He nicknamed her Cricket. She was always keeping him from doing stupid stuff when they were kids. Cricket once said she was his personal Jiminy, and that's how the name stuck. 

"Don't look at me; I'm not real to him," Cricket said, making a face at Chuck before moving closer to Dean. 

"No, she's not here right now," Dean said, rubbing his face to not give away that he was looking at his sister. 

"That's good. That means the new meds are working," Chuck said, writing on his notepad. 

Dean nodded, looking towards the window. He knew all the things they say that these things aren't real were, but in fact, were very real. 

Chuck asked about how the meds were making him feel. Tired and sick to his stomach, he didn't like them. Chuck sighed, saying the benefits outweigh the side effects and that the meds should stop doing that soon. 

They talked some more, Chuck asking if Dean still thought Benny was a Vampire, he nodded. Dean wouldn't have thought this if he didn't see the guy hiding away, drinking from a blood bag. The thing was, Benny was a pretty good guy, he was always lovely to Dean. 

Much to Dean's relief, Chuck didn't keep him too much longer. He headed down to the dayroom to watch some TV, the other patients who were there mostly left Dean alone, he was grateful he didn't have to talk to anyone.

" you should be nicer," Cricket said to Dean as he sat as far away from the other patients as he could but could still see the TV. 

Dean sighed and folded his arms. He loved having Cricket around, but it sucked when they were in the dayroom. He couldn't talk to her without the staff telling the doctor he was talking to himself again.

" Do you want me to go?" Cricket asked she didn't want her to go away and wait until lights out, but she would if Dean wanted her too.

Dean shook his head and sighed, slumping down in his chair, staring at the TV. Cricket sat down next to him, he seemed sad, and she didn't like it when Dean was anxious. 

The TV flipped channels sporadically until it turned to porn. Everyone yelled or started laughing. They looked to the nurse who had the remote she shook her head, turning it back to the station it was on originally. The channel flipped again, Dean covered his mouth, trying not to laugh but it was too late the nurse saw him. 

The day nurse was mean. She had a crappy attitude, especially when it came to Dean. 

"Do you have a remote?" Anna asked, standing in front of Dean, arms crossed as she stared accusingly at him. 

"No, where would I get one?" Dean asked, unfolding his arms. 

"Then, why are you laughing?" Anna asked, unfolding her arms to place them on her hips, waiting for an answer. 

Cricket was standing right behind Anna, making faces at her. Cricket couldn't stand Anna. She had started out being kind to Dean, and then it all changed one day, not she cold towards him. 

"Tell her, I changed the channel," Cricket said, moving so she was next to Dean. 

"No reason I was thinking about my sister, she was funny. When we were little she liked to change the channel while I was watching something, it reminded me of her, that's all," Dean replied smoothly. 

Cricket laughed when Anna huffed and walked away, shaking her head, mumbling about finding a better job. 

"Nice save," Cricket said with a laugh. 

"You're supposed to be my conscience, ya know," Dean said, not caring at the moment who heard him. 

"I'm not perfect, and I'm dead so we can make bad choices. You didn't listen when I told you  _ not _ to go after those Vamps and look at where we are," Cricket said 

Dean shook his head and sighed; she was right. Cricket did try to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen. Dean wanted his revenge, and now he couldn't get it. 

Dean got up and headed to the window to look out at the trees. It was dark, and the clouds were heavy, a storm rolling in meant thunder and the other patients screaming all night.

Thunder boomed and rumbled as lightning struck the tree outside the window. Dean jumped, backing away while watching the tree smolder. Everyone else gathered around to watch the trees burn. 

"It's ok, it's ok," Cricket soothed, appearing at his side instantly.

Dean's face went pale with fear; he ran down the hall to his room, hiding under the bed. 

  
Cricket slid under with him waiting out his panic attack, whispering to him that it was going to be ok and she was there for him. 

Dean peeked out when he heard the squeaky wheel of a bed as it rolled into his room. He was the only patient without a roommate. He watched as they transfer the person from one bed to another. 

"Dean, come out," Chuck said peeking under the bed, Dean shook his head.

"The fire?" Dean asked in a whisper. 

"It's out. It started raining," Chuck said with a soft smile coaxing Dean out.

Dean slowly came out from under the bed looking around; the nurses were busy setting up his new roommate, cuffing him to the bed, so he didn't hurt himself when he woke up, trying to remove the band. He had a bracelet his wrist as the nurse tried to pry it off, giving up when Chuck told her to leave it. If it didn't come off, he couldn't possibly hurt anyone else with it. 

Chuck had Dean follow him to his office to talk about what happened when the tree got hit by lightning. Dean shook his head. He didn't want to admit he was terrified of fire, even though Chuck already knew from Dean's father filling in some gaps the few times he did come to visit.

"The fire is not going to get you," Chuck said, sitting down at his desk. 

Dean sat down across from him shaking his head. That's not what he was worried about; it was the demon. 

"Just agree, I wanna see the new guy," Cricket said, perching herself on Chuck's desk. 

"I..I know, it freaked me out is all," Dean replied, looking out the window. 

"Good, you are free to go," Chuck said, gesturing to the door. 

Dean headed back to his room, wondering where Cricket went. She was never too far from him. When Dean walked into the room a moment later, he saw Cricket sitting on his new roommate's bed, checking him out. 

"Cricket!" Dean scolded, crossing the room quickly to shoo her away. 

Cricket sighed, getting off the bed. It wasn't like the unconscious guy was going to know what she was checking him out. 

"He's cute," Cricket said, still hovering around the man's bed. 

"Cricket, leave him," Dean said, flopping back on his bed. 

Dean felt the bed dip as Cricket got in next to him, both turning so they'd face each other. 

"You think Sammy will come tomorrow?" Cricket asked she missed her little brother. 

"I don't know, Dad said he has to go to school," Dean replied, he reached for Crickets hand. 

Dean sighed when his hand went through her hand; she shrugged. They were used to it, but Dean still tried. 

"I miss them," Cricket said, laying on her back to stare up at the ceiling. 

"They miss you too, ya know," Dean replied, turning to look down at her. 

A groan came from the other side of the room, both looking over at the man that was now Dean's roommate as he began to wake up. 

Dean sat upon his bed, Cricket moving so she could see too. 

The man groaned again, pulling on the restraints, he looked around spotting Dean perched on his bed. 

"Hey, I'm Dean."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Castiel groaned, his head was pounding, and his arms felt heavy, the light was too bright when he opened his eyes. Closing them again, he could feel someone watching him. 

He opened his eyes again, looking to his left a man was sitting in the bed. 

"Hey, I'm Dean," the man said with a casual wave.

Castiel groaned, trying to speak, his throat dry from disuse. 

"Shut up, I'll help him," Dean said, walking over to Castiel's bed. 

Castiel looked as Dean approached, 'who was he talking to?' Castiel thought to himself as Dean lowered a cup with a straw to Castiel's mouth. 

"Drink," Dean said with a nod.

Castiel looked at him; he didn't need to drink water, why was he giving Castiel water. 

His throat felt weird; he reluctantly took a sip. It was cold and helped his throat while gulping down more. 

"I know, let me handle it," Dean said, looking over his shoulder. 

Castiel stopped drinking, he tried to sit up again, but the straps wouldn't allow it. He looked down at his wrists and pulled. 

"It's a precaution, so you don't hurt yourself." Dean looked over his shoulder and sighed, "I know. I'm gonna get the nurse," he said, placing the plastic cup on the table before leaving, talking to himself as he went. 

Castiel looked around again; there were two beds, two dressers with a lamp on top of both. Bars on the windows from what Castiel could see, the door was open so he could see the hall with the grayish-blue wall color. He laid his head back down on the pillow, trying to remember how he ended up here. 

"Good, you are awake," Anna said, walking into the room, smiling, "can you tell me your name?" 

"Castiel," he replied, coughing. 

"Ok, Castiel, I'm going to undo the restraints," Anna said as she began to undo the first latch. 

Dean came back into the room a moment later and sat on his bed, Castiel watched as Dean pulled his knees up to his chest, lips moving like he was telling someone to be quiet. 

Castiel rubbed his wrist and sat up as Anna moved back, she smiled at him, saying she was going to inform Chuck that he was awake and Dean would show him around. 

"So what are you in for, Cas," Dean asked, dropping his legs from his perched position to lean on them. 

"I don't know where  _ here _ is," Cas replied, looking around. 

Dean looked at him like he was joking, Cas tilted his head, there was something about Dean that made Cas relax a bit. 

Dean shook his head, "no, stop," he said, looking over at Cas, but not at him. Like something just over his shoulder. 

"I'm not crazy; it's my sister," Dean said, pointing to space next to him. 

"Uh hello," Cas said, looking at where Dean was pointing. 

"You don't have to say anything; I know you can't see her," Dean said, getting off his bed, "come on, I'll show you around."

Cas nodded, getting off the bed, he followed Dean out the door looking down at his feet. He had on white slippers, which he didn't remember putting on and an all-white scrub outfit, like Dean, and everyone else that he noticed. All the patients were wearing the same thing. 

The place was massive, Castiel noted, Dean was pointing to all the different parts of the facility. Telling Cas what it was and where he could and couldn't go. 

"This is where they want us to hang out during the day; we also have a group in here too," Dean said, gesturing to the open area with tables and couches spread out. Other patients were meandering about the halls and rooms.

Cas nodded, sitting down in a chair, rubbing his head. Dean sat next to him and sighed. 

"Sorry, um Cricket, that's my sister. She sometimes messes with the TV; she thinks it's funny," Dean said as the TV flipped Channel's at that moment.

Cas looked at Dean and then back at the Tv it finally stopped flipping stopping in gay porn this time, causing an uproar in the day room. Dean covered his mouth as Cas watched his eyes move to the spot next to the Tv Cas was sure there was nothing there, but the look on Dean's face would say otherwise. 

"Winchester!" Anna scolded, storming over. 

"I didn't…" Dean started to say as the room went cold. 

Anna stopped in her tracks like something was holding her back from getting to Dean. An indent on Anna's shoulder was the only proof that someone or something was holding on to her. 

"Cricket stop," Dean said, annoyed, rolling his eyes. 

Cas watched with wide-eyed as whatever was holding Anna let go and she stumbled forward, Anna quickly turned on her heel and ran down the hall. 

"Sorry," Dean said, looking at Cas, who looked like he was slightly frightened. 

"So she's here, you can see the dead?" Cas whispered, leaning close Dean. 

"Only Cricket, we think it's cuz we are twins," Dean replied. 

Cas stared deep in Dean's eyes; he knew there was something different about this man, something in his soul had been touched and Cas was going to find out by what. 

Cas tore his eyes away from Dean when he heard talking coming towards them a short man with greying hair and a bread was walking towards them with the nurse. 

Dean slumped in his chair and crossed his arms. They could think Dean did anything, could they? Cas thought to himself. 

"He didn't do anything," Cas said as Chuck and Anna stopped in front of them. 

Chuck looked at Cas, "I'm glad to see you are awake, but I need to speak with Dean," Chuck said, waving Dean to follow him to the office. 

Cas shook his head as Anna stood there with a smirk on her face. 

"Why did you do that? You know Dean didn't touch you," Cas said to Anna. 

"He was talking to his sister; she's dead," Anna said, walking away from Cas. 

Cas was in disbelief that a nurse, a person who took a job to take care of people, could be so cold to someone who couldn't accept that his sister had died. Cas made a note to ask Dean how it happened. 

Cas sat in the seat by the window looking out, trying to piece together how he ended up here at this place, but every time he tried to think about how he got to the facility or what led him to be admitted, his brain gets all fuzzy and hurts. He shook his head like he was trying to shake the memories loose. 

About twenty minutes later, Dean came back in looking angry. 

" Doc, he wants to talk to you," Dean said, sitting down in the chair, folding his arms. 

Cas nodded, stood, and followed Dean's directions to Chuck's office. Cas knocked on the door and waited. 

"Come in," Chuck called from the other side. 

Cas took a deep breath and opened the door, he was nervous, and he wasn't sure why he had never felt this before in his life, and now he couldn't shake the feeling. 

"Have a seat," Chuck said, pointing to the chair in front of his desk. 

Cas sat in the seat, rubbing his hands up and down his legs. 

"Anna tells me your name is Castiel, but the idea they found on you says James Novak from Pontiac, Illinois," Chuck said, placing the ID down in the desk for Cas to pick up. 

"I don't know why I'm here or how I got here, but I am not James Novak; I am Castiel," he replied, setting the ID back down on the desk. 

Chuck nodded and took the card, placing it in the fold he had on his desk. 

"That's ok, that's why you are here so we can help get you better and back to your family," Chuck said, writing on his note pad. 

Cas shook his head and rubbed his temples; it was like static in his ears; the noise was annoying. 

"Are you with me, James?" Chuck said, standing and coming around to stand in front of Cas. 

"My name is Castiel, and I'm…" Cas said, rubbing his head and wincing. 

"Ok, we finished; we can talk more during group today," Chuck replied, sitting in his chair, taking notes. 

Cas nodded and stood to leave, "I'm an Angel of the lord, I can't remember anything else," Cas said, looking down in shame. 

Chuck nodded and added to his notes tell Cas it was fine, and they would talk more about everything later, and it was almost time for lunch. 

Cas left the office. He remembered he was an angel, but why didn't Cas have his grace, he shook his head walking back to the day room, the lights were flickering. 

Dean was in the same spot Cas had left him only he looked angrier, Cas walked quickly over to him sitting in the chair. 

"What's going on?" Cas asked, looking around, watching the other patients yelling about the lights. 

Dean didn't say anything, only stood up motioning for Cas to follow. Cas looked around before he stood, making sure no one was watching what they were up to and quickly followed Dean, who didn't wait for him. 

Dean was in their room; he shut the door once Cas was inside. 

"Cricket is pissed, Anna said something messed up," Dean said looking around. 

"Dean, what happened?" Cas asked. 

Dean took a deep breath telling Cas the story of how he was supposed to pick his sister up from work, and he was late, so she decided to walk home taking a shortcut she had to take a hundred times only this time a group of Vamps was waiting for her, and they killed her. 

"They said it was a robbery gone bad, but I saw her throat; it was no knife," Dean scoffed. 

"How do you know for sure?" Cas asked, looking at Dean. 

The cup of water Dean had given Cas when he first woke up flew off the dresser and hit Cas in the back, causing water to soak his back. 

"That wasn't nice; he was only asking," Dean said, looking past Cas. 

Cas turned around, hoping he would be able to see who or what had hit him with the cup of water. 

"Cricket says sorry, she gets upset," Dean said, walking to the dresser puling out Cas' towel. 

"It's ok," Cas replied, taking the towel from Dean, trying to dry himself off. 

Cas pulled the wet shirt off running the towel across his back; two long scars were running down his angel wings, he turned and looked he could feel Dean staring at him. 

"What are you looking at?" Cas asked, slightly annoyed Dean was looking at him the way he was. 

"Nothing sorry, there's clean shirts int the dress," Dean replied, pointing and then whispering to the right of him. 

Cas grabbed a dry shirt out of the dresser Dean was still whispering. 

"What were you whispering about?" Cas asked, pulling the shirt over his head. 

"Shut up; I'm going to. You have scars on your back, Cricket wants to know what they are from," Dean said fidgeting.

Cas shook his head he had no clue what Dean was talking about, he didn't have any scars? How could he? He wasn't even human. 

Dean sighed and led Cas to the bathroom shooing his sister away, showing Cas his back in the mirror. 

Cas grabbed his head as flashes filled his eyes and searing white-hot pain ripped down his back, he could faintly hear Dean calling his name.

Cas woke up in his bed and rubbed his head, looking over Dean was sitting on his side of the room, looking worried. 

"You ok?" Dean asked, rushing to his side, helping Cas sit up. 

"I don't know; it was strange," Cas replied, wincing at the phantom pain in his back. 

"You want me to get Anna?" Dean asked, not sure what to do.

Cas shook his head was surprised when his stomach growled.

Den chuckled softly, telling Cas it was time for lunch if he was up for it after what happened in the bathroom. He nodded and said yes, all though he was a bit embarrassed even if he didn't know what exactly happened. 

"James, are you alright?" Chuck asked, spotting Cas and Dean walking to the day room for lunch.

"My name is Castiel, and yes, I am fine," Cas replied, turning back to Dean. 

"Let me know if you wanna talk. It's what I am here for," Chuck said, heading back to his office. 

Cas followed Dean to the lunch line. Dean handed him a try before following the person in front of him.

"What is this?" Cas asked, picking up a bowl. 

"Tuna surprise," Dean said with a smirk. 

"What's the surprise?" Cas asked, pick up everything Dean did, and placed it on his tray. 

Dean shrugged and headed to his regular table, taking a seat, Cas sat down next to him picking up the fork and stabbing his food the whole thing comes out of the bowl Cas made a face placing it back down and pushed it to the side. Dean laughed ad covered his mouth when he whispered something Cas couldn't hear. 

He leaned in close to Cas, "Cricket says the surprised is glue," he said, laughing and pointing to Cas's bowl. 

"I don't think she is wrong," Cas replied, picking at the other stuff on his tray.


	3. Chapter 3

Chuck pinched the bridge of his nose. Marv was at it again, going on about how he was chosen by God to write down his word. 

"Marv, that's not what we are talking about," Chuck said with a sigh. 

"What if he was chosen?" Cricket asked, sitting on the floor next to Dean's chair. 

Dean rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. Cas looked at him and leaned in close. 

"I don't understand what is going on," Cas whispered. 

"Neither do I, just go with it," Dean whispered with a nod. 

Cas nodded and noticed Chuck staring at them, "you want to share with the rest of us?" Chuck asked, nodding to both of them. 

"Tell him you and Cas were thinking about making out later if he wanted to join," Cricket said, knowing only Dean could her hear.

Dean couldn't hide his laugh; sometimes, his sister had no filter. Once he pulled it together enough to speak, he would start laughing again; everyone was looking at him. 

"James, what were you saying?" Chuck asked, watching Dean wipe his eyes. 

"You know I have the girl version of his name, and you think his hot does that mean you think I'm hot?" Cricket asked 

Dean started laughing even harder. He couldn't keep it together. The more Cricket would come up with thigs to say. 

"It was nothing; it was about dinner, that's all. I don't know why that would be so funny," Cas replied, looking at Dean. 

"I'll tell you later," Dean said between laughs.

Chuck sighed and wrote in his note pad; he was happy. Dean was making a friend. It had been two years. Dean didn't talk to anyone, so Chuck was glad that they were friends. 

When the group was over, Cas and Dean stayed to play cards. 

"Dean, I don't understand the point of this game," Cas said, looking at his cards. 

"Do you have an eight or not?" Dean asked again after explaining the rules of "Go Fish." 

Cricket was standing behind Cas, nodding that he indeed did have an eight. 

"How does he not know how to play. It's a kids game," Cricket said, standing next to Dean. 

Dean shook his head. It was strange even if Cas was crazy, and he wasn't who Cas said he was, he should still know how to play a children's game. 

Cas handed Dean the card their fingers brushed Dean coughed and adjusted himself, Cas tilted his head wondering why Dean was uncomfortable. 

"Somebody has a crush," Cricket teased Dean. 

"Shut up," Dean mumbled, telling Cas to take his turn. 

Cas sighed, looking over his cards, still not sure what the point of the game was. 

"Do you have an ace?" Cas asked. 

"He doesn't have that card," Cricket said, shaking her head, "you should find another way to get to know him better."

"Winchester, Novak, it's time for showers," Benny said, waving them over.

Dean smiled, telling Cas to follow him; he would show him the way things were supposed to go. 

They stopped by their room, grabbing clean clothes and towels. Both stripped down and placed dirty clothes in the hamper after entering the bathroom, turning on the showers waiting for them to heat up. 

"At this moment, I don't hate that I have to follow you everywhere," Cricket said with a smile looking Cas up and down. 

Dean shook his head, but she wasn't wrong. Cas had a beautiful body. Muscular and lean, well endowed Dean couldn't help but think of what it would be like to have that cock in him. 

"Wow, Dean, I mean, I know he's is hot but you might wanna tell little Dean to calm down, Benny is checking you out," Cricket said laughing at her poor brother he couldn't win. 

"I wonder if he is into guys," Cricket said, circling Cas as he washed up. 

Dean sighed, wishing that Cricket wouldn't follow him into the bathroom. He turned the water off after rinsing the shampoo out of his hair, grabbing the towel, drying his face and hair before wrapping it around his waist. 

"Dean, I think Cas is happy to see you nude too," Cricket said, nodding to Cas. 

"Is this normal?" Cas asked, standing at full attention. 

Dean cleared his throat and nodded, while Cricket cracked up. If she weren't dead already, she would have died from laughing. 

"Totally normal," Dean said, drying himself off and pulling on his clothes. 

"Why does this make you uncomfortable if it's normal?" Cas asked for drying and getting dress. 

"I'm fine," Dean said, not facing Cas. 

"Tell him you want him to fuck you, and that's why you can't look at him," Cricket said. 

"Shut up," Dean said, looking at Cricket. 

Cricket smiled and headed out of the bathroom she wouldn't get too far before she was snapped back to Dean, but she went far enough not to bother him anymore. 

They both got dressed, Cas asking if he will stay at full attention, Dean shook his head it would go down, sometimes it had a mind of it's own. 

"Cas, how do you not know any of this stuff?" Dean asked as they walked back to their room. 

"I told you, I'm an angel; this is all new," Cas said, sitting on his bed. 

"So you don't get, ya know horny?" Dean asked, sitting next to him. 

Cas looked like he was worried, Dean looked at him. 

"You are a virgin?" Dean asked a bit shocked. 

"I've never had the occasion," Cas said, feeling a bit uncomfortable, shifting on the bed. 

"No way, there's no fucking way," Cricket said in shock. 

Dean and Cricket looked at each other in disbelief. There was no way that a guy that hot has gone his entire life without getting laid. 

"Not even a blow job, ask him, I wanna know," Cricket said, shoving Dean. 

"Nothing. No lady or guy angel?" Dean asked, trying to find out if this was true or not. 

Cas blushed and turned away, he then stood and paced the room, "Dean, I don't wanna talk about this," he said, looking down at his hand. 

"Ok, you wanna go watch TV?" Dean asked, dropping the subject. 

Cas nodded and followed Dean back to the dayroom. The day went on Cricket messed with the TV making Anna mad and eventually, she turned the TV off altogether. They ate dinner Cas was trying to figure out why they would feed people whatever it was that they were trying to feed them.

Cas yawned and rubbed his eye. Dean smiled. He was cute when he was sleepy. 

"Wanna go to bed?" Dean asked, leaning in close. 

Cas's heart skipped a beat; there was something about being close to Dean that made Cas feel things he had never felt in his life. His stomach did flips, his mouth went dry, and he wanted to know what Dean would feel like pressed under him. What would Dean's lips feel like against his? Cas backed up; he was confused by these feelings. 

"You ok?" Dean asked as they headed to their room a little early, but he didn't care. He liked hanging out with Cas. 

"I am confused by what I am feeling," Cas replied. 

"Tell me," Dean said, standing close.

Cas shook his head; he wasn't sure what to say to Dean. It was him who was giving Cas these feelings. He took a chance, and he was hoping Dean would feel the same way. 

He closed the gap, pressing his lips to Dean's, Cas felt Dean stiffen a bit and then lean into the kiss. 

Cas liked this feeling, the warmth of Dean's lips, the softness, the way his heart rate sped up, and the sound of blood rushing in his ears. Cas never wanted it to end. 

A flash of silver in his mind made Cas pull away; he grabbed his head. The scars on his back burning, the pain was too much. He felt the fear of the memory, but he didn't know what it was why this person was hurting him? Why was all this happening?

"You messed up, brother."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_ "You should have listened to me," Michael yelled. _

_ The punch connected with Cas's jaw. Cas spit blood, he was being held by two others, he tried to pull away, but they were too strong.  _

_ "Michael, please, I love him," Cas replied, pleading in his voice. There was an urgency to the statement.  _

_ Michael shook his head, "that's too bad." _

Cas popped up out of bed; this was the first clear memory in weeks that he had, Michael now all he needed to do was remember who he was and who was it Cas loved. 

"Cas? You ok?" Dean asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

"I'm fine, go back to sleep," Cas replied. 

After the kiss and Cas's moment as Dean calls it, they had gotten closer. Neither one had brought the kiss up, it was a simple kiss, but it had such a strong response in Cas' memory they both wanted to know more. 

Chuck had told Cas that his memory would make its way back when his brain was ready to let him remember. Cas rubbed his face, he saw a shadow to the left of him, he looked, but nothing was there he figured it was Cricket checking on him like she does Dean. 

Cas was amazed at the denial of the staff that Cricket was, in fact, ghost haunting Dean. Cas would have sworn one night he saw the blanket being put back over Dean in a gentle caring way that could only come from family. 

Dean groaned, he got out of bed and went to Cas. 

"You are not, another dream?" Dean asked, settling on the bed next to him. 

Cas nodded but said he was sure what it meant, "I don't know who Michael is," he said, turning to look at Dean. 

"You will figure it out," Dean said, trying to comfort Cas. 

Cas sighed and looked at Dean, "I was in love, and this Michael wasn't happy," he said. 

Dean nodded, "do you who with?" he asked. 

Cas shook his head, "all I said was I love him," he said sounded sad. 

"We will figure it out," Dean said, rubbing Cas back. 

Cas looked at Dean, there was something special about him Cas knew it, but he didn't know what he wanted to remember. 

"Is it strange…" Cas sighed, trying to gather his thoughts, "is it strange I feel like I have known you forever?" he finally asked, looking Dean in the eye. 

"No, I feel the same way, like I have always known you," Dean replied with a shrug. 

Cas leaned in a kissed Dean on the cheek; Dean smiled ane looked at Cas. 

"What are you doing?" Anna asked, opening their door. 

"Cas, had a bad dream, I was making sure he was ok," Dean said, getting up off the bed and walking to his. 

Anna made a face and left the room; Dean laughed a bit.

"She is such a bitch," Cricket said, sitting on Dean's bed cross-legged.

"Move crick, I wanna lay down," Dean said, shooing his sister. 

Cricket sighed; she hated the nighttime. It was boring, and she couldn't go that far, but she could make it to the nurse's station and mess with Anna when she was on the night shift. 

"Leave Anna alone," Dean said. 

Cas laughed when he heard Dean talking to his sister; he wished he could listen to what Cricket was saying she seemed funny and kind, clearly she loved her brother. 

"Dean?" Cas asked. 

"Yeah, Cas?" Dean replied. 

"Nevermind, sorry, go to sleep," Cas said, laying back down. 

Dean sat up on his elbow and looked at Cas bed; he was facing him. Cas shook his head and sat up. 

"I think Michael is my brother," Cas said, not able to shake the feeling from the dream. 

"Does this Jimmy Novak that Chuck is convinced you are, have brothers?" Dean asked, sitting up all the way. 

"I don't know; I wish I knew what happened, why am I here? How did I get here?" Cas asked, sighing again and rubbing his face. 

"You will, at some point, know what happened, I'm sure of it, until then can we get some sleep?" Dean asked, smiling a bit at his roommate. 

"Sorry, night Dean," Cas said, laying facing the wall this time. 

Dean shook his head and did the same, so he could get some sleep. 

_ "This contains your grace, one Enochian word, and you can have everything back. I'm sorry, brother." _

Cas was startled awake by Benny, "Brother, wake up," Benny said, shaking Cas a bit. 

"What time is it?" Cas asked, rubbing his eyes. 

"Past breakfast, let's go, "Benny said, leaving the room. 

Cas swung his legs over the side of the bed and stretched, and silver cuff caught the light just right, he looked at his remembering what the man in his dream told him, his grace. What the hell was grace? Cas shook his head; his dreams were getting stranger and stranger. 

Dean must have been in the day room watching Tv, he wondered why he didn't wake Cas up, but it didn't matter. Cas slipped on his shoes and headed to the Tv room. 

Cas looked around, no Dean. Cas sat down in his usual spot and waited for Dean to come into the room. After an hour, Cas went to find him. 

"Benny, where is Dean?" Cas asked, sounding extremely concerned. 

"Dean is in Chuck's office," Benny said and walked away. 

Cas wasn't sure why Benny said it the way he did, but it didn't sound right the way Benny said it, maybe Dean was talking to Cricket too much out loud in the TV room instead of their place like he always did. 

************************************

"She is dead," Sam said, rubbing his face. 

"I know, I was there, I found her," Dean snapped back. 

"Everyone, take a breath," Chuck said, leaning forward on his desk. 

Cricket growled. She wished she could show herself to Sam. Cricket hated when her brothers fought. She was angry the temp in the room dropped Chuck said the air must have kicked on he adjusted the temperature. 

"Why can't you let her go?" Sam asked his voice thick. 

"It's my fault," Dean said with a shrug, looking away from Sam.

Tears pricked at his eyes; he will always blame himself for not being on time. It was stupid. He didn't even remember why he was late. 

"Dean," Cricket said softly, "tell him that I love him and the money he hid when we were kids in under the floorboards in the closet, his had to pull up the carpet."

"Ok, if she isn't here then the money you hid when we were kids isn't in the closet, under the floorboards, you pulled up the carpet," Dean said looking Sam dead in the eye. 

Sam shook his head. The only person he told was Cricket in case the needed it, "she told you at some point," he said, looking shocked. 

Cricket flung the glass of water off the desk across the room. Chuck looked surprised he had no explanation for it, but got up and cleaned the best he could. 

"I don't believe as you do, I don't have a connection," Sam said, standing, tears fighting to spill over, his voice heavy with grief. 

"Oh, Sammy," Cricket said, reaching out to touch his little brother. 

"She misses you and loves you," Dean said. 

"That's enough," Chuck said, looking at Dean. 

Dean folded his arms across his chest and slumped in his chair, ignoring the rest of what Chuck was saying. It was all the same thing he says every time Cricket talked about, she was dead and he needed to move on. 

"I wish I could do what the other ghost does," Cricket said, folding her arms sitting on Dean's lap. 

Dean made a face and asked if he could go to the dayroom; he finished. Chuck nodded and asked Sam to stay behind. Dean could be careless what they said about him. He knew what was real and what wasn't real. 

Cas was sitting in his chair, looking worried he smiled when he spotted Dean. The sight of Cas made all of Dean's worry and fear go away. He made Dean feel safe and wanted. 

"Hey, sorry, Sam. our little brother showed up," Dean said, sitting in the chair next to Cas.

"Hello, Dean. Is everything alright?" Cas asked, looking Dean over. 

Dean nodded and told Cas everything that happened in the office and how Sam never believed in anything he couldn't see with his own two eyes. 

"I'm sorry," Cas said, rubbing Dean's back. 

Dean shook his head; it wasn't a big deal anymore. They had been trying for two years to convince Sam, but he ver believed and never listened. They stopped for a while, but Cricket, she wanted Sam and their dad to know she was still with them. 

"I wish I could see her; I swear I can sometimes," Cas said, looking at Dean. 

"Like a shadow?" Dean asked. 

Cas nodded and told him about the blanket; Dean smiled he knew Cricket was always looking out for him; she didn't need to sleep. 

"I had another one of those dreams," Cas whispered, leaning in close to Dean. 

Cas started to tell Dean about it when Chuck called for him; he made a face and looked up. 

"Come on," Chuck said, making the motion with his hand for Cas to follow. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

  
  


Cas followed Chuck to his office, wondering if he should tell him about the dreams or not when a woman's voice pulled him from his thought. 

"Jimmy? It's me, Amelia," the woman said, sounding sad and relieved all at the same time. 

Cas looked at Chuck and then back at the woman, "um, ok," he said sitting down in the chair. 

"I'm your wife," Amelia said, sounding hurt. 

"I don't have a wife," Cas replied. 

Chuck sighed and looked at Amelia. She took a seat next to Cas taking his hand, he pulled it away uncomfortable with the familiarity that this woman seemed to think she had with him. 

"James, I know you think you are Castiel. I asked Amelia to come to help you remember who you are," Chuck said, sitting in his seat, pulling out his note pad. 

Cas raised an eyebrow at Chuck; there was no way he was married to a woman he wasn't attracted to women. He was attracted to Dean. Amelia went on and on about where they met, and when they got married, the way he proposed everything. Cas shook his head. He didn't know who this woman was, and nothing was jogging his memory of her. 

"That bracelet is some piece of junk you found at a garage sale, you had to buy it because you couldn't get it off," Amelia said. 

Cas shook his head, in the memory he did have he knew was really, the other man said it contained his grace, Cas still wasn't sure what grace was, but he was going to find out.

"I'm sorry, James sounds like a wonderful man, but I'm not him," Cas said, looking Amelia in the eye. 

"Why are you doing this? Are you trying to push me away? Do you want a divorce?" Amelia cried. 

Cas looked at Chuck for help. He had no clue what she was talking about and didn't want to upset her more than she already seems to be. 

Chuck asked Cas to leave while he talked to Amelia, Cas nodded and apologized again before opening the door and stepping out. 

Dean was waiting for Cas at the table, a smile spread across his face when he spotted Cas. 

"I'm ok, Dean," Cas said sitting down beside him. 

"What happened?" Dean asked. 

Cas told him all about Amelia and what she said. Cas sighed. He didn't know who Jimmy was, what Cas did know was that he was not Jimmy. 

Cas said he was going to lay down and take a nap, he hoped that maybe he would get another memory Cas also hoped he wouldn't get any more memories. 

_ Cas watched the man come around the corner, he was beautiful. Cas had never seen a soul shine as bright as he did, Cas needed to know more. He wanted to know more. Cas sighed when he saw the man embrace a woman whose soul was almost as bright as the man's, they must be related, Cas thought to himself.  _

_ If he could get a better look at the man, Cas would know if he was meant to be with him or not. The man came walking towards Cas.  _

Cas shoot up out of bed, "Dammit," he said to himself, rubbing his face. 

He was sure the man in his dream was the man he was in love with, but Cas knew nothing about him, what he looked like or a name. He wished it would all come back, and he could get out of the hospital. 

Cas laid back on the bed, he felt it dip, but no one was there. He took a chance. 

"Hey, Cricket," Cas said. 

The bed bounced a bit, Cas smiled at the empty space. 

"I'm ok, thanks for checking," Cas said with a chuckle he sat up. 

The dip in the bed disappeared, he moved his legs, so they were hanging off the side. Cas looked around figuring she was either back with Dean or still in the room, Cas sighed and start telling Cricket about the dream he had well it was more memory and how he wished he could remember everything it was frustrating not knowing. 

Cas felt a cold spot on his arm, he knew she was there listening to him vent, it was nice to have someone else to talk to that wasn't trying to diagnose him or make him remember who they thought he was, he smiled and placed his hand on the cold spot. 

Dean walked in and smiled, "I was looking for you," he said. 

"We were talking," Cas said. 

"That's what Cricket said. Can you see her?" Dean asked, moving closer to the bed. 

"No, but I can feel her," Cas said. 

Dean seemed happy at this news, and that made Cas happy. 

They headed down to the Tv room, sitting at their usual table. Dean got the cards he was going to teach Cas how to play poker. 

Cas made a face as he looked at his card, Dean was explaining the rules while Cricket made sure Cas won at least one hand, he couldn't hear or see her, but they had their own way of communicating.

Dean was shocked that Cas whooped him good at poker it was like he had played before, Cricket looked at Dean and shrugged she didn't even need to help Cas, he did it all on his own. 

"I think someone taught me," Cas said, shuffling the card. 

"Well, they were good whoever they were," Dean said, folding his arms. 

"You are beautiful when you pout," Cas said, dealing the cards. 

Dean blushed a deep crimson, and turned away with a smile on his face, he cleared his throat before grabbing the cards and looking at them. 

"Did I say something wrong?" Cas asked, tilting his head to the side. 

"No, no way," Dean said, smiling, he cleared his throat and put down two cards to change out. 

"You would…" Cas started to say. 

Cas grabbed his head. The noise was deafening, he could hear people taking it was scrambled and wasn't clear, but he could listen to his name being said over and over like a loop. 

"Cas, Cas?" Dean asked concern was evident. He didn't know what to do for him. 

"I'm ok, it was a memory," Cas whispered. 

"Come on. You need to lay down," Dean said, picking Cas up off the chair. 

Cas passed out when he hit the bed.

_ "You are amazing, you know that," Cas asked.  _

_ "You are, but thanks," the body next to Cas replied. The voice was rough and distorted.  _

_ Cas felt happiness; it was the most amazing feeling in the world to know that the person lying next to him was his mate.  _

Cas sat up and looked over at Dean, he was sitting on his bed knees pulled up to his chest, a worried look on his face. 

"I'm sorry, the memories seem to come back when I am near you," Cas said with half a smile. 

"What was it this time?" Dean asked, letting his legs dropdown. 

"It's all still jumbled, but I was with someone I love very much," Cas said, rubbing his face. 

Dean got up and walked over to Cas' bed, sitting down next to him, he sighed. 

"Do you want a new roommate?" Dean asked. 

"No, no. I like being near you; I like the way you make me feel," Cas said, reaching out and taking Dean's hand. 

Dean laced their fingers together, he too loved the way Cas made him feel it was the most content Dean ever felt in his life. 

Cas leaned in, placing a kiss to Dean's cheek, he turned and smiled, kissing Cas back on the lips. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The dreams or memories stopped for a few weeks. Cas had been at the hospital for two months, and Chuck felt like they weren't making much progress, but some people took longer than others, and he knew that. 

"James, why do you think you are Castiel?" Chuck asked. 

Cas sighed and rubbed his temples, Chuck was giving him a headache. 

"I don't think, I know I am," Cas replied, he sat back and folded his arms across his chest. 

Chuck pinched the bridge of his nose and sat forward, "I won't be able to send you home if you don't remember who you are?" he said. 

"I know who I am; you can believe what you want. I know who and what I am," Cas replied, standing and heading to the door. 

"Please sit back down," Chuck said, standing. 

"Can we talk about something else?" Cas asked. 

"Yes, how about you and Dean? You seem close," Chuck said. 

Cas scoffed and sat down, they talked about how close he and Dean had gotten omitting the fact that they make out any chance they get, and Cas wanted nothing more than to plow Dean into the mattress. Cas told Chuck that Dean has been teaching him different card games and board games since they don't have anything else to do. 

"Does Dean talk to you about Jamie?" Chuck asked. 

"Sometimes, he calls her Cricket; I think it's cute," Cas replied, not wanting to say anything that would have Den hauled off to solitary for a few days. 

"Does he talk to her in front of you?" Chuck asked. 

Cas shook his head, he knew Chuck was fishing, and he was not about to turn on his friend Chuck could dig all he wanted. Chuck nodded. Cas was hoping he didn't know he was lying, but Cas didn't want Dean to get in trouble for having his sister's ghost haunting him. 

They talked a bit more before Cas headed back to his room, he laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. 

_ "Why can't you stay?" the voice asked.  _

_ "I will be back, I promise, don't worry nothing in the world can take you from me," Cas replied.  _

_ "They said, he said," the voice said it was thick with worry.  _

_ "My love, I will be back," Cas said.  _

The voice was familiar and comforting, Cas wanted to remember who this person was, why were they so worried that he wasn't going to come back?

Cas looked over at Dean's bed he was laying there looking up at the ceiling. 

_ "Why didn't you come back to me? I waited, and you never came back," Dean said.  _

Cas popped up, breathing heavy, he shook his head, getting off the bed. He knew his feelings for Dean could seep into his dreams, but the familiarity of the person in the dreams was the same as when Cas was with Dean. He shook the thought from his head. 

***************************************

John growled in frustration why couldn't Dean let his sister go. 

"Ghost's aren't real Dean, or monsters, or anything another thing you think you saw," John bit out. 

"Dean, it's fine," Cricket said, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

Dean sighed, "it's fine if you and Sam don't believe," he said. 

"How can I? There's is no proof; we can't see her," John yelled, "do you have any idea how much I miss you, sister?"

"He can't even say my name," Cricket said, kneeling near John. 

"You never say her name," Dean said. 

"What?" John asked the statement taking him by surprise. 

"You never say Crickets name," Dean said, slowly making a point. 

John sighed and looked at Chuck, "he is right, I have never heard you say Jamie's name," Chuck said. 

John scoffed, and took a deep breath, "My wife died, and I messed up as a father, my baby girl was murdered, I… I loved Jamie with all my heart, and it kills me every time you bring her up, say she is here," John said tears started to fall. 

"Daddy, I'm so sorry, I should have waited," Cricket said, reaching out to her father. 

"Ok, if Jamie is here, what was the one thing we used to do, her and me?" John asked. 

This was something he never had asked before he always dismissed Dean's claim his sister was around. 

Cricket smiled, "after you moved out, Daddy and I would go fishing on Saturday. We would dig for worms the night before, I would make lunch for us, and we would spend the whole day sitting we never caught anything." she sniffed. 

John covered his mouth and shook his head; there was no way Dean would know that she had to of told him. 

"You would pretend to be mad cuz Cricket wouldn't pack beer, you need to have a least one," Dean said, repeating everything Cricket was telling him about her and Johns fishing trips. 

"how?" John asked. 

"I swear I don't know, but no one believes me, and she misses you and Sammy," Dean said, his eyes welling with tears. 

  
  


John shook his head, he stood and walked out. 

Dean looked at Chuck; he was in a bit of shock too. 

"How did you know?" Chuck asked. 

"I keep telling you I'm not the crazy one you are," Dean said, standing and leaving the office heading back to his room. 

Cas was sitting on the bed, staring off into space, Dean called his name a few times before touching his shoulder. Cas jumped and looked at Dean. 

"I'm sorry, you didn't hear me," Dean said gently. 

Cas shook his head, "Can I tell you something?" he asked. 

"Of course, Cas, you know that," Dean replied. 

"I keep hearing things, in my head," Cas whispered. 

"Like voices?" Dean asked. 

Cas nodded, "I know how it sounds, especially since I'm in here," he said, sighing.

"Depends on what's being said," Dean replied, rubbing Cas's back. 

Cas hummed at Dean rubbing his back it felt nice, the scars on his back were aching, "it's strange like a loop, he is getting his memories," Cas replied to Dean's question. 

Dean didn't know what to say. He was about to answer when the alarm blared, causing them both to jump. 

"Dean?" Cricket asked. 

"I don't know," Dean replied, "it's not the fire alarm." 

"The door is locked," Cas said, pulling on the handle. 

"Someone tried to break out," Dean said, sitting on his bed. 

Cas looked at Dean he shrugged it's happened a few times, twenty-four-hours lockdown, no one in or out the door would unlock after they did a headcount, and then things go back to normal. Cas sat next to Dean on his bed. 

"How was your dad?" Cas asked. 

"I think he finally believes me about Cricket," Dean said hopefully. 

Cas smiled, that was great even if he didn't fully believe it was a step in the right direction. 

Dean's heart thudded in his chest, Cas made him feel things he had never felt before, there was a longing, a yearning that Dean wished Cas would touch him more. 

Benny and Anna came by to make sure they were both in their room, letting them know it would be a bit before the door unlocked, Cas and Dean nodded say they understood. 

When they were clear of the door Cas pulled Dean to him, placing a kiss on his cheek, Dean smiled he like when Cas pulled him close. Cas didn't stop there kissing along Dean's jaw; he tilted his head, exposing his neck for Cas to kiss down. 

"That feels nice," Dean mumbled, enjoying the feeling of being touched. 

Cas smiled against Dean's skin moving along kissing along the opposite side. Dean smiled when Cas slipped a hand under his shirt, running his hand long Dean's flank. 

"I want you, Dean," Cas said between kisses. 

Dean nodded no trust what would come out. The feeling was overwhelming; it had been two years since he was touched. 

"I'm gonna go," Cricket said, pointing to the door, she didn't wanna watch them get it on, but she could be a lookout for them. 

She liked Cas and was happy her brother found someone even if it was in the facility. 

"Cricket left, she will let us know if someone is coming," Dean said when Cas stopped kissing him. 

"Good," Cas said with a smile. 

Dean wrapped a hand around the back of Cas' neck, pulling him for a kiss, the light chapped feeling was excellent, the rough stubble on Cas' cheek scraped against Dean's face in the best way possible. 

Dean smiled when Cas pulled at the hem of his shirt, lifting it up over his head, Cas kissed Dean's lips one last time before leading him to the bed. Dean laid down, Cas climbed between Dean's legs. 

Dean moaned when Cas leaned down and kissed him, the feeling of Cas's hard cock pressing against the thin material of the scrubs they were was like heaven, but Dean wanted to feel it inside his. 

Cas rocked back and forth, rubbing against Dean, making him moan. Dean wanted more he wanted Cas naked. 

"Cas," Dean whined. 

Cas sat up and looked at Dean, "what do you want?" he asked. 

"You, all of you," Dean said, pleading in his eyes. 

Cas nodded, sitting up, pulling his shirt over his head, leaning back down and kissing Dean's chest, he was heaven the feeling of his skin on fire. Dean ran his fingers through Cas's hair, and he nipped at one of his nippled, Dean loved the pain and pleasure coursing through his veins. 

Cas moved down, kissing the top at the top of Dean pants before pulling them off, Dean's breath hitched at Cas stroked his painfully hard cock, his hands were rough but warm, the light tug and flick of his wrist made Dean squirm. 

Dean closed his eyes, letting his senses take over the sound of Cas praising him made Dean feel warm inside it was nice to hear. He flinched when he felt the warm, wet feeling of Cas' tongue sweep over his hole, Dean pulled his legs up, giving Cas better access. 

"Do you have?" Cas started to ask. 

Dean reached under his mattress, grabbing a couple of packets of lube and handing them to Cas. 

"Stole 'em off the cart," Dean smiled as Cas lubed up his fingers. 

"Shit," Dean moaned as a finger glided in smoothly. 

The feeling was amazing, and familiar the slight burn of the stretch was pure pleasure. The moan moaned and sighed as Cas started moving. The slam of skin and heavy breathing filled the air. Cas flipped Dean over in one move, never pulling out. 

Dean was relishing in the way Cas used him and was surprised that he knew precisely how Dean liked it; they never talk about sex or what they wanted. 

"You like that?" Cas asked, pounding harder into Dean.

Dean moaned, unable to reply. Dean was so close he needed to be touched, Cas reached around and started jerking Dean in time with his trust. 

They both came at the same time, breathing heavily and laughing. 

"That was amazing," Dean said, flipping over as Cas pulled out. 

"I agree," Cas said, kissing. 

Cas laid down next to Dean, wrapping his arms around him. 

"You know I don't know when your birthday is," Cas said. 

Dean laughed, "it's January twenty-fourth," he replied. 

"January twenty-fourth," Cas replied. 

Cas yelped as the bracelet on his wrist became hot a blazing bluish-white light started to radiate from it. 

"What the hell?" Dean asked. 

"Cover your eyes," Cas yelled. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just in case anyone forgot Cricket's name is actually Jamie, Dean only calls her Cricket.

**Chapter Seven**

"You Son of a bitch," Dean yelled at Cas. 

All of their memories flooding back Dean remembered everything that happened between them and what lead to Cricket being killed. 

"Dean, I didn't know it was a trap," Cas pleaded as he pulled his clothes on. 

"You got Cricket killed," Dean yelled, "I waited for you! You never came back." 

"Baby, I'm sorry," Cas said, looking down. 

Cas wanted to reach for Dean hold him to tell him how sorry he was, but Ce knew better if Dean was upset it was best to let him work through it before trying anything. 

Dean growled, grabbing his clothes. He didn't want to look at Cas, he was so angry. 

He and Cas were going to pick up Cricket like they always did when she got off work. Cas and Cricket were best friends who made Dean happy because no else even tried to get to know his sister, saying she was clingy, and they had a weird relationship. They had an odd childhood, Cricket was who Dean leaned on in times of need, and it passed into adulthood he told his sister everything. 

""Better hurry, Anna is coming," Cricket said, passing through the door. 

Cas looked at Cricket as he pulled his pants up, the guilt he felt knowing he was the reason Dean was late picking her up weighed heavy on him. 

  
  


"Jamie I am so sorry, I didn't mean for…" 

"You can see me?" Cricket asked, looking at Cas in surprise. 

Cas and Dean looked at each other, how come she didn't remember that Cas was an angel, he and Dean were together, and it was forbidden, she was the only other person who knew who Dean was dating. They were going to tell John the night Cricket died, but they never made it to the house. 

"Yes, I can see you know that I have my grace back," Cas said, standing up straighter. 

"Ok, anyway, Anna is in a mood," Cricket said, looking at Dean. She had no idea what Cas was talking about. 

"We need to get out of here," Dean said to Cas. 

"I agree," Cas said, looking Dean over. 

Cas got down on his knees, looking over Dean's legs; he touched a small spot on Dean's knee. 

"What are you doing?" Dean asked. 

"There is a reason, Jamie never left you, and it's right here," Cas said. 

Dean felt a pull come from his knee like a sliver being pulled out, and then it was gone. 

"What are you talking about?" Cricket asked. 

"You left DNA in your brother," Cas said, smiling. 

"How?" Dean asked. 

Cricket smiled, "remember any time you scraped your knee. I would kiss it to make it feel better," she said. They had no idea that a tiny amount of DNA would cause someone not to cross over. 

"Cas, what are you doing?" Dean asked. 

Cas was whispering in Enochian; he looked up at Dean. 

"Fixing my mistake," Cas said, placing a hand on Cricket's chest. 

"What are you?" Cricket asked as a bright white light glowed around her. 

Dean covered his eyes; the light was blinding; the heat was warm and comforting. 

"Dean?" Cricket asked. 

"You're still here?" Dean asked, uncovering his eyes. 

Cricket looked at her hand and reached for her brother, expecting it to go through him and was caught off guard when she felt the warmth of his skin. Dean looked at her and took a Crickets hand. They both had tears in their eyes and grabbed each other in a rib crushing hug. 

"I'm so sorry," Dean said, kissing the side of Cricket's head. 

"Me too," Cricket said. 

Cas smiled, he knew how much Cricket meant to Dean. This was a small thing he could do that would hopefully lead to Dean's forgiveness. They looked over at Cas. 

"I don't," Dean said, reaching for him. 

"It's ok if you are still mad. We can work through it," Cas said, taking Dean's hand. 

They didn't hear the door open when Chuck's voice ran through. They all turned. 

"Who are you?" Chuck asked, looking at Cricket. 

Cricket smiled, "I'm Cricket, Asshole," she replied. 

Chuck looked her up and down, Dean had described his sister many times to him during their sessions. Chuck was in disbelief the outfit she had on was the one she died in, her hair and eye color identical to Dean's. 

"No, you are not," Chuck said, shaking his head. 

"I can prove it," Cricket said, challenging Chuck. 

"Go ahead," Chuck said, motioning with his hand. 

Cricket started with the last session Dean had with John tell him the fishing story, go on about the notes that he wrote about Dean. She went on about how he has a bottle of whiskey in the right bottom draw of his desk under the false bottom with two glasses, but he usually drinks from the bottle. 

"How? That's…" Chuck shook his head. 

"Oh, and Anna lost her key card in the stairwell while having sex with a patient," Cricket said, folding her arms across her chest. 

Chuck took a deep breath and looked at the three of them, he shook his head, saying this was a hoax some way to get Dean out. 

"I got more," Cricket said, leaving the room.

She headed for the nurse's station shoving past Anna who was yelling for Cricket to stop, Chuck told Anna it was fine. Cricket punched in the code to the medicine room. She didn't stop there looking at Anna and reaching under the desk, pulling out her stash of tiny bottles. 

"How?" Anna said. 

"You so much as look at Dean the wrong way, I swear I'll kick your ass," Cricket said, stepping into Annas' personal space. 

"Let's go to my office," Chuck said, pushing his way between Anna and Cricket. 

Cricket headed down the hall but past Chucks office to the nurse's locker room. Chuck followed wondering what she was up to, Cricket put in the combination to Benny's locker and raised an eyebrow when a few empty blood bags fell out. 

"Vampires are genuine," Cricket said, pushing past a confused Chuck and headed to his office.

Dean covered his mouth, trying not to laugh, Cas looked followed Cricket into Chuck's office. Chuck was stunned as he followed everyone to his office. 

Cricket was sitting on his desk, her favorite place to sit. Chuck sat down in his chair, rubbing his face; this was not happening; these things were not real. 

"How?" Chuck asked. 

"Cas brought me back," Cricket said, smiling at him, "I'm starting to remember."

Cas smiled. He was happy that she remembered too.

"I don't understand, dead people can't come back after two years," Chuck said, trying to find the logic in a place where logic went out the window. 

"I am angel," Cas said, his eyes glowing bright blue.

Chuck shook his head, reaching for the bottle of whiskey he keeps in his desk. 

"I should have become an author," Chuck said, taking a swig of whiskey. 

Cricket took the bottle from Chuck taking a drink and making a face before setting it on the desk. 

"You are fine, trust me it's better, you know," Cricket said. 

"Umm ok, so you are not crazy. Your sister was here the whole time, your boyfriend Is an angel and Benny is a vampire," Chuck said, reaching for the bottle again. 

Dean nodded and smiled at Cas, sure he was made about what happened, but he loved Cas, and nothing was going to change that. 

"Can I go home now?" Dean asked, folding his arms across his chest. 

Chuck looked at him, "yeah, I guess, I gotta call your dad," he said. 

"Daddy, he's going to be shocked," Cricket said, sliding off Chuck's desk. 

They all nodded Dean looked at Cas, "maybe you should have waited to bring her back," he said with a laugh. 

"I guess nows a good time to tell your dad," Cas said, sitting in the chair next to Dean. 

"I'm still mad, but we should," Dean said, sitting back in the chair. 

"Dean, it's not his fault," Cricket said, moving closer to him. 

It didn't take long for John to get to the facility, Chuck told him it was vital that he come as soon as he could it was about Dean. 

John opened the door to Chuck's office, stopping in his tracks when he saw Cricket standing there. 

"Jamie?" John breathed out. He would know his daughter anywhere, she was almost a carbon copy of her brother. 

She nodded and ran to him, slamming into his chest, "how? I saw you, I buried you," he said. 

Cas looked at Dean, who nodded, "I brought her back?" he said. 

"Thank you," John said, kissing the top of Cricket's head. He was not about to question why or how he was grateful to hug his daughter again. 

"Daddy, we tried to tell you," Cricket said. 

John looked at her as tears filled her green-eyes, he nodded. Everything that Dean said every session he wasn't lying. Chuck smiled still a bit taken back by everything that had happened. They discussed Dean and Cas leaving because, in truth, keeping them there wasn't going to do any good. 

Cricket smiled and grabbed Dean's hand as they exited the building, chuck still wanted Dean to take his meds tapering down instead of stopping altogether. The sun was warm, and the breeze was cool, Dean and Cricket smiled at each other happy to be out of the facility and their way home. Cas following behind, letting Dean and Cricket enjoy each other's company. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Chuck smiled as he stared out the window watching Cas and Dean leave the facility, he chose well when he created Dean the perfect mate for one of his favorites. 

"Father, after everything?" Michael questions from behind him. 

Chuck turned and looked at his son, "they are mates, I told you to leave your brother alone," he said. 

Michael sighed and paced the room, "he broke the rules," he retorted. 

"We all break the rules, Michael. You are the only one of us who still kissing Daddy's ass," Gabriel quipped back as he appeared in the room. 

Chuck laughed and shook his head, telling his son to leave Castiel and Dean alone along with any family. He was still angry Cricket was killed on Michaels's orders. It wasn't her time. It's why Chuck tied her spirit to Dean, so when Cas remembered who he was, he could bring Cricket back. 

Michael huffed before leaving with a whoosh of his wings. 

"Gabriel, keep an eye on them for me," Chuck said. 

Gabriel nodded and disappeared. 

**************************************************

  
  


Cricket couldn't wait to get home, eat some food and take a shower; she was in the clothes she died in, her work uniform. 

"I missed you,' John said, smiling over at Cricket. 

"I missed you too," Cricket replied, "I'm starving, can we get burgers?" 

John laughed and made the turn heading to the first drive-thru he saw. She sighed, taking a big bite. 

"I wanna see Sammy," Cricket said between bites, "and I know you have been drinking too much."

"Don't start, I lost you baby girl, and I lost myself," John said, looking down at his burger. 

"I'm home now, Daddy, and I promise I'm not going anywhere again," Cricket said.

John nodded and put the car in drive; he texted Sam to tell him to come to the house. He had something important to talk to him about. 

Cricket paced the living room biting her nails, waiting for Sammy to get there. What if he was angry? What if he didn't want to see her? All the thoughts were running through her head. Cricket wished Dean and Cas were there, but they were busy and needed time to reconnect. 

Sam finally made it to the house, opening the door. 

"Dad, what is going on?" Sam asked, looking around, he spotted Cricket. 

John smiled at his youngest, "she's home," he said softly. 

"How? You died, we buried you," Sam replied. 

"I know, I'm sorry, but I was here the whole time. Dean tried to tell you," Cricket said, crossing the room to her not so little brother.

Sammy looked at his dad and then back at his sister, he shook his head as tears filled his eyes. Sam pulled her in for a crushing hug, not letting go until Cricket told him she needed to breathe. 

***********************************************************

Cas slammed Dean against the door of the motel room once they were inside it had been too long with out his love and he was going to make up for lost time. 

"Wait," Dean laughed, "we gotta ward the place first."

"Screw them, I can do what I want," Cas growled, pulling Dean in for a crushing kiss. 

Dean moaned and gave in. Screw it if the angels wanted Cas and him to be apart. They could enjoy the show first.

"Fuck, Cas, I forgot how good you are," Dean said as Cas kissed down his next. 

Cas picked Dean up, he didn't hesitate to wrap his legs around the angels meddled as they kissed Cas walked them to the bed. 

He laid Dean down and smiled; he missed Dean so much he didn't even realize until that moment tears welled in the angel's eyes, the pain and the guilt of what happened to Cricket started to weigh on him. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, pulling him down, holding him close. 

"It's ok, Cas, look at me," Dean said, pushing the angel's shoulder. 

Cas sniff and sat up, kneeling between Dean's legs. Dean scooted into a sitting position. "Talk to me," Dean said, taking Cas's hand. 

Cas wiped his eyes and sighed, "Michael, he made me watch Jamie die. I tried to get free. They took my wings and my grace. I was human, Dean…" Cas started sobbing. 

Dean scooted forward and pulled Cas into his arms, he wanted to be mad but knowing that Cas was stripped of everything and made to watch one of his best friends die was too much even for Dean to stay mad at him. 

"I forgive you, Cas, I do," Dean said, rubbing his back. 

Dean pressed his lips to Cas' shoulder, working his way up to his face making Cas laugh; he kissed his nose. 

"Cricket will forgive you, is that what you are worried about?" Dean asked, cupping Cas' face in his hands. 

Cas nodded and sighed, "what if she's angry with me? Dean, that would be almost as bad as you being angry with me," Cas replied. He knew he wasn't his usual stoic angelic self, but after losing his wings and everything the angels put him through, he couldn't bear to keep it in anymore. 

"Come, cuddle with me," Dean said, getting off the bed. 

Dean pulled off his shirt and pants, tugged the blanket back, and climbed in, Cas mirrored Dean and crawled in behind him, wrapping his arms around Dean, breathing him in, savoring the moment. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Comments, Questions, and Kudos are always welcome.


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